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Pelagic Somatics

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Pelagic Somatics is an American biotechnology company headquartered in Cambridge, Massachusetts. It makes nanotechnological augmentations for people who retained biological bodies after the 2029 superduperintelligence merger. Its atomically precise manufacturing enables five-metre arms, tiny hands and water-repellent skin. Some implants become housing and employment conditions.[1][12]

Products

Body-retention clinics install the implants.[1]

  • Trim® (2032) keeps hair, facial hair and nails at chosen lengths. Users change styles instantly; stylists sell designs for self-application.[1]
  • Shed® (2033) switches exposed skin and hair to an effectively zero-hydrophilicity surface. Rain and pool water leap off at activation. Clothing stays wet, and users switch it off to wash normally.[1]
  • Cairn® (2034) converts digestive residue to exhaled carbon dioxide and sealed pellets; it needs a licence and internet connection.[2]
  • Rill® (2035) eliminates ordinary urination and diverts its waste to form additional Cairn® pellets.[2]
  • Temper® (2036) regulates core temperature for daily comfort and outdoor sports. An implanted glucose fuel cell powers a heat pump moving up to 100 W into or out of the core; that measures heat, not electricity. Cooling sheds heat through skin; household climate disputes continue. It needs no household equipment.[3][4][5][6]
  • Span® (2037) extends an arm five metres. A worn feedstock pack supplies tissue reclaimed on retraction; blood supply and support continue.[1]
  • Bit® (2038) reshapes fingernails into tools and miniaturizes hands for fine work, storing displaced tissue in the forearms. Makers use it for certified handmade goods: a human hand still places every part.[1][6]
Four swimmers stand beside a pool as water bursts outward from their exposed skin and hair in suspended droplets; their swimsuits remain wet.
Four swimmers activate Shed together after leaving a pool. Water leaps off their skin and hair while their swimsuits remain wet.

Business model

Revenue rose from US$3.4 sextillion in 2035 to US$51 sextillion in 2037 and US$342 sextillion in 2038, when operating profit reached US$201 sextillion. Subscriptions and licensed profiles supplied US$277.2 sextillion (81%) of sales. Cairn supplied 52% of revenue, Rill 20%, Trim 11%, Temper 8%, Span 5%, Bit 3% and Shed 1%. Its 38,600 employee contracts each named one mind; separately hired copies counted separately. The company’s ownership trust acquired 0.4% of the founding cosmic resource claims during the 2030s.[12][16]

At year-end 2038, Cairn had 584,000 active U.S. licences and 336,000 in Europe. Cairn cost US$270 quadrillion a year; Rill added US$135 quadrillion. The European Cairn licences represented US$90.72 sextillion in annualized fees; employers paid for 27% of them. Automated fabrication and fitting were inexpensive. Pelagic charged for installation licences, recurring access, Trim styles and Bit tool profiles. Its 2037 US$6.4 sextillion purchase of Sterile Interface Holdings added overlapping patents on intestinal implants.[8][9][12]

Fenwick Research put Pelagic’s 2038 sales at the equivalent of 5.7% of consumption serving biological human bodies and 0.043% of gross universal product. Its 2039 report described customers living on distributions from Solar Dyson swarm and automated-industrial holdings. The combined Cairn–Rill tariff equalled 22.5% of the median self-paying Cairn subscriber’s annual disposable investment income. Many biological households could afford neither implant. Patent enforcement and housing requirements sustained demand. Rill sold through Cairn’s clinics. Trim faced competition from ordinary grooming despite recurring sales of licensed styles. Temper’s early customers included mountaineers, polar trekkers and endurance sailors. The Alpine Ascent Register permitted implanted thermal regulation in its assisted biological category, while classifying replacement robot bodies as vehicles. Fenwick judged robotic assistance a closer substitute for Span and Bit.[13][14]

Promotion

At the 2037 launch of Span®, Pelagic demonstrated a 12-centimetre nanotech-powered Poké Ball to promote the implant’s tissue-reconstruction technology. It disassembled and reconstructed a 4.8-tonne elephant in 4 minutes 57 seconds, using the arena’s storage, power and cooling systems. Pelagic reported that the elephant recognized its keepers and performed previously learned commands.[10][15]

The video received 620 million views in its first week, according to Pelagic, which also reported a 34% rise in clinic consultation requests in the month after the launch compared with the preceding month. The film’s booking link offered appointments for Span. The Animal Continuity League disputed whether the original elephant had survived, arguing that remembered commands did not establish continuity of consciousness.[10][15]

Controversies

By 2038, Pelagic faced 417 lawsuits in 11 jurisdictions. In 2036, an 11-hour Cairn licence-server failure switched 18,000 paid implants to bypass. Bel Air homeowners' associations fined 63 homeowners when compliance dashboards showed inactive licences. Pelagic said homeowners could use toilets. In 2037, it paid US$280 quintillion to settle a consumer-fraud suit over payments to clinics that recommended Cairn as independent medical advice.[2][6][7]

Pelagic sued rival manufacturers, clinics and users of home-built implants in the United States and Europe. Successful challenges to individual patents left defendants facing other claims. Its acquired patents carried no expiry dates. Users of imported implants also owed royalties. Rival makers sued over threats to cut Cairn service access to clinics fitting competitors’ devices; Pelagic cited sterility.[1][7][8][9]

In a 2038 heatwave, 96 Shed users collapsed while running: sweat rolled off treated skin before evaporating. They sued; Pelagic cited a strenuous-use warning. Plaintiffs produced ads of dry marathoners. Pelagic withdrew them and added a heat lockout, but denied liability.[1][5][7]

The London Miniature Bookbinders' Guild and Paris Dialmakers' Syndicate sued to exclude Bit users from handmade certification, claiming altered hands were machines. Their members charged more for miniature books and dials made without implants. Mayfair balcony owners sued Span users for reaching across their airspace to collect deliveries, then sold reach easements. A court classified the arm as an encroachment even when it touched nothing.[6][7]

See also

References

  1. ↑ a ↑ b ↑ c ↑ d ↑ e ↑ f ↑ g ↑ h ↑ i ↑ j ↑ k Pelagic Somatics (2038). Consumer catalogue and clinical installation guide, revision 4.
  2. ↑ a ↑ b ↑ c Pelagic Somatics (2038). Cairn® patient and purchaser prospectus and Rill® release circular (2035).
  3. ↑ Pelagic Somatics (2038). Temper® metabolic-power and thermal-control specification.
  4. ↑ Maity, D. et al. (2023). Blood-Glucose-Powered Metabolic Fuel Cell for Self-Sufficient Bioelectronics. Advanced Materials 35(21).
  5. ↑ a ↑ b ASHRAE (2021). Thermal Comfort, Chapter 9.
  6. ↑ a ↑ b ↑ c ↑ d The Borough (2038). 'A hand in everything', 'The thermostat's last argument' and 'The compulsory clean'.
  7. ↑ a ↑ b ↑ c ↑ d Metropolitan Civil Claims Register (2038). Pelagic Somatics consolidated docket, filings and settlements, 2036–2038.
  8. ↑ a ↑ b Fenwick Research (2038). Pelagic’s permanent patents: litigation in the United States and Europe.
  9. ↑ a ↑ b ↑ c Pelagic Somatics (2038). Tariff and fleet licensing schedule.
  10. ↑ a ↑ b The Borough (2037). 'The elephant returned.'
  11. Kwa, Thomas (26 February 2025). Will we ever have Poké Balls in real life?. LessWrong shortform.
  12. ↑ a ↑ b ↑ c ↑ d ↑ e ↑ f ↑ g ↑ h ↑ i Pelagic Somatics (2038). Consolidated annual report and regional clinic operating reviews.
  13. ↑ Fenwick Research (2039). Pelagic Somatics: consumer augmentation market review.
  14. ↑ Alpine Ascent Register (2038). Assisted biological ascents: equipment and body eligibility rules.
  15. ↑ a ↑ b Pelagic Somatics (2037). Span launch campaign brief and first-month results.
  16. ↑ a ↑ b Founding Concessions Register (2039). Beneficial holdings at the close of the 2030s settlement.