It's next to her wineglass. At a table where other people are eating. I cannot believe "please don't put something you just passed on the dinner table" now requires a position paper.
Yes, I know it's sealed. Please read that sentence before replying.
secondhelping · #1Yes, I know it's sealed.
Then you know it doesn't smell or leak. What are you actually asking to be protected from here? The knowledge that somebody at dinner has a digestive system?
If she drops an earring on the table nobody cares. Same danger, different story about where the object has been. I don't think she owes you an apology for the story.
phasechange · #2Same danger, different story about where the object has been.
I clean my retainer. You would still object if I took it out and put it beside your bread. You exhausting people have discovered one measurable property of manners and decided it's the entire subject.
no pockets. no bin. everybody's an expert on where it SHOULDN'T go.
she puts it down while someone gets a bin and now people are calling her an animal under a charity photo. completely normal response, very concerned about manners
velvet_underground · #4everybody's an expert on where it SHOULDN'T go.
A bag. I have Cairn, I wear dresses, I manage this. The pellet can sit in a handbag like a receipt until I find a bin. You choose when to release it, so she could also have asked for the bin first.
Women's clothes should have pockets. Also true: the rest of her table didn't choose to be involved in this.
coatcheck · #5A bag.
I work events. If half your guest list uses Cairn, you arrange disposal before seating them. You don't discover this during dinner and send someone hunting for a bin. The venue screwed up too.
And no, coatcheck, I'm not saying it has to go on the table. I'm saying this is a predictable thing we charge a lot of money to have already thought about.
table12 · #6coatcheck · #5A bag.The venue screwed up too.
Sure. And if the bathroom runs out of paper I complain to the venue. There is still a fairly large category of things I don't put on the table while they fix it.
My Cairn-using brother won't let me use the bathroom his children use. Apparently my body is disgusting but the little souvenir from yours is just materials science. Funny how that works.
stillanalog · #8Apparently my body is disgusting but the little souvenir from yours is just materials science.
Your brother sounds horrible. I'd let you use my bathroom. I also wouldn't mind Vey's pellet on the table for a minute. That's a consistent position.
This is WHY I want an actual reason before someone's disgust gets to decide what another person is allowed to do. Your brother's got disgust too. You don't have to join him in inventing contamination.
phasechange · #9stillanalog · #8Apparently my body is disgusting but the little souvenir from yours is just materials science.You don't have to join him in inventing contamination.
"Inventing contamination." There it is. You can call my brother horrible and still use his exact voice when someone asks you for a little consideration.
I want to use a toilet. She wants to put the result beside the bread. These are not equivalent requests.
phasechange · #9I also wouldn't mind Vey's pellet on the table for a minute.
Waiter here. Guests LOVE telling you an unpleasant thing is harmless when they want you to handle it.
Was the person bringing the bin allowed to find this gross, or would that have been a training issue?
This was a fundraiser for children. There were actual projects asking for actual money in that room. And the only thing anyone wants to talk about is a photo of a woman and a grey object.
The Borough knew exactly what it was doing. I haven't seen one person mention what the money was for.
smallmercies · #12This was a fundraiser for children.
How much do I have to donate before the people eating beside me lose the right to complain? Is there a published rate?
ramekin · #13How much do I have to donate before the people eating beside me lose the right to complain?
They can complain. You weren't eating beside her. Neither was I.
I'm talking about the people who woke up today and decided this woman needed to be punished by strangers. If all you want is for people to be nice at dinner, why are you defending that?
coatcheck · #5velvet_underground · #4everybody's an expert on where it SHOULDN'T go.A bag.
ok, so she should've brought a bag. i'll give you that.
still don't think a grown adult can point at a sealed grey pebble, say it ruined their entire dinner and expect me to take them seriously. if it's "a little consideration" why is only she required to have any?
velvet_underground · #15coatcheck · #5A bag.why is only she required to have any?
Because she's the one putting it there??
I don't think she should lose her career. I think she should say "sorry, that was gross" and next time bring a bag. Apparently that makes me a member of the purity police.
secondhelping · #16say "sorry, that was gross"
Or "sorry, I didn't realise it would bother you." I'd be fine with that. You're asking her to agree it WAS gross, which she clearly doesn't think. Neither do I.
I bring a bag because I know how people react. I hate having to plan a whole outfit around something I could carry like a receipt. Four years of using this thing and I'm still supposed to pretend a dry sealed bead is shit so nobody feels challenged over dinner.
phasechange · #17secondhelping · #16say "sorry, that was gross"Or "sorry, I didn't realise it would bother you."
"Sorry you were bothered." Great. We've reinvented that apology but now I have to admire the engineering.
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